There’s quite a lot of misunderstandings when it comes to us introverted folks. And I have made it my life mission to remove these myths from modern society. Because they are making a ton of introverted women out there feel miserable about themselves.
We aren’t ‘sociable, likeable, fun, or outgoing enough’. Well, tell you what – we don’t HAVE to be!! Let me clear the most common myths about introverts for you for once and for all. And hopefully take some insecurities away.
Here we go:
13 MYTHS about Introverts:
- Introverts don’t like to socialize or talk – people always think we dislike people. But it’s not necessarily that we dislike people – we dislike SOME people, we dislike big GROUPS of people, and we dislike LOUD people.
- An introvert is more likely to deal with mental illness – some research says that introverts are indeed more prone to depression and anxiety for example. Other research doesn’t rise to this conclusion. Perhaps more research is needed. But what I can say is that introverts have a tendency to be more alert to their inside worlds. Therefore, it makes sense that introverts THINK and FEEL they have more problems than other people. Whether that is objective or subjective…?
- Introverts don’t take risks – yes they do. They just think it over for a while, probably more so than extroverts. Extroverts are more often the sensation seekers, risk takers and considered more impulsive than introverts. However, introverts tend to take risks in different areas. Basically, any type of decision making that involves an unpredictable outcome is a risk of some sort. That means there’s a lot of uncertainties in the world – and introverts do often take those risks. Simply because we have to; else we’ll be stuck in life.
- Introverts are less confident – well, I do find my introverted clients to have low self-esteem and self-worth most of the time. But that’s only a group of introverts (and obviously they are seeking help for a reason)! A lot of introverts are perfectly fine with who they are. They’ve accepted their own quiet nature and don’t care that they’re not as assertive as some extroverts. Yet there’s also a group of introverts who don’t feel that way – in society, being extroverted is the norm. Which makes a lot of introverts insecure about who they are and who they ‘should be’. And I am on a mission to change this! 🙂
- Introverts are less happy than extroverts – there is some scientific evidence that says that introverts are indeed less happy. But in those studies, introverts were forced for a week to BEHAVE more extroverted. Meaning, they had to do more talking, laughing and connecting to other people. Obviously, introverts love laughing and really connecting with other people, too. Just as much as extroverts do. So yes, they turned out to be happier in those studies. Because they felt more connection and more ‘flow’. But behaving extroverted and BEING extroverted are two different concepts. Introverts are the happiest when they can connect to people they love or feel good around, but at the same time get enough time to recharge their introverted batteries. A good balance between me-time and social-time is key.
- Introverts are shy – NO. Gosh please stop thinking this RIGHT NOW. Shyness is learned behaviour! It’s not something you’re born with, whereas you ARE born with your introverted nature. Extroverts can be extremely shy too. The good news is: if you’re an introvert AND you’re shy, you can do something about the latter. Just get some professional help for this as it’s usually hard to change this on your own (don’t be embarrassed about it).
- Introverts are always quiet – heck no. We can be loud as hell! We just need to be around the right people. I can act like the most extroverted of extroverts when I’m around my closest friends or relatives. Yes, I can be very loud too when I laugh – my extroverted boyfriend often tells me that he loves how I laugh hysterically sometimes. Being unapologetically me, open, warm and funny. I can be really chatty too. Talk on interesting topics (philosophy, psychology, earth, the universe, the meaning of life etc.) for hours and hours. Introverts love quiet time too, though. So yes, we CAN be quiet but not always.
- Introverts and extroverts won’t get along – sometimes we think we don’t like extroverts! This is usually the case when introverts have been in close contact with loud annoying extroverts, extroverts who take over the workplace, or dominant extroverts in general. But not all extroverts are annoying to us. On the contrary – we love to be adopted by fun extroverts at times. Extroverts get us out of our quiet shells and make us move into the world. And sometimes we love it. Be loud, dominant, shallow or a pain in the behind though and we’ll ghost on you after a while or even instantly.
- Introverts always want to be alone – no, no, no. We like to be alone more often than extroverts do, generally speaking. But it’s not like we always want to be alone. We like to be around the people we love just as much as extroverts do. We just don’t like large groups of people, parties and loudness. We need to retreat from those things often because it’s overstimulating our brains. No one wants to be and feel alone (or lonely, for that matter).
- Introverts are weird – ok, perhaps a tiny little bit (I’ll speak for myself). But isn’t weird a bit FUN?! Who invented the word ‘weird’ anyways… ? It’s a judgement. A negative word to label a group of people as outsiders in society. And why do we judge as human beings? To safeguard our own lives and ourselves: I’m good, they’re bad. We use it to feel good about ourselves. But everyone has a different idea of what weird is. It’s subjective. I find weird a good thing these days – weird means being different, and being different is ALWAYS a good thing when I’m concerned. Don’t be like the flock – be you.
- Introverts can ‘fix’ themselves and become extroverted – nope. Not gonna happen. Unfortunately (or fortunately), we cannot change the wiring of our brains. You were built as an introvert. That means you process information from the outside (and inside) world on a deeper level than an extrovert does. Which is also the reason that it takes longer to process – AND it’s the exact reason why we’re overstimulated faster than extroverts. So we simply NEED less social stimuli than our extroverted friends and family! It’s biology. You CAN learn however, to be less of a worry-wart, let go of negative thoughts or fears and insecurities.
- Introverts are boring – really now? Have you been INSIDE my brain? Come visit and THEN say that word again 😉 I don’t know about you lady, but I don’t find us introverts boring at all! In fact, it’s really interesting to me to figure out a fellow introvert. Since usually we just unfold ourselves slowly, like a piece of folded origami paper. It takes a while before we show our true colours. And I love a good mystery. Usually I just know something good and fun is waiting for me if only I’m patient enough.
- Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun – so not true, omg! We just have different ways of having fun and relaxing. For me, for example, relaxing isn’t ‘going out in public and party till the sun goes up’. It means chilling at home, with a glass of good rosé or a cup of good quality coffee, a good book or a fun video game. Relaxing to me is going for a walk in nature, I love forests and the sounds of nature all around me. Instead of the huge amount of decibels people produce when together in a group… plus: I’m an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), so hellooooo feelings of the people around me! Nah, I’ll pass for tonight’s party, lol. Extroverts and introverts just think differently about the meaning of the word ‘fun’. And that’s absolutely fine.
Do you recognise any of these?
Did you believe them yourself, as an introvert, up until now?
Perhaps, some (extroverted) people in your inner circle throw some of these myths at you every once in a while… I feel ya. You can always try to let them read this article – perhaps it’ll make your own life a whole lot easier if people who are close to you understand you better 🙂
Sometimes, it’s really hard to stand up for yourself, being an introvert. Overthinking situations. Overthinking your own reactions to – for example – the myths above.
I completely understand – your brain just does that on it’s own. It’s not like you WANT to overthink and overanalyse. And let the situation pass.
Which is why I’ve designed a quick downloadable PDF for you with 35 One Liners for Quiet People to get Loud People OFF your back for good! [Click here to download]
Hope this helps, have a lovely day!
Love, xo,
