Ok so I’m gonna be a bit of a Devil’s Advocate here: a LOT of people will NOT agree with me on this. But please, before you judge, hear me out on this one?
Because there’s a philosophy behind this.
Alright, so here goes.
I do believe that discipline does NOT exist.
But let me start with – what I believe to be – a good reason why at least discipline SHOULDN’T exist:
I believe, in fact, that we use the term discipline as an excuse to self-sabotage our own behaviours and therefore, lives.
Why?
Well, how often don’t we tell ourselves that ‘we don’t have self-discipline’?
That little, annoying voice inside you that says:
“Hey, you! Can you do like anything AT ALL?! You can’t even do exercises twice a week, and it’s ONLY 15 minutes each time, you fool…“
That little tiny devil on your shoulder, whispering:
“Psssssh! You have ZERO discipline, you lazy bum! Other people are way better than you. You stink.“
See what happens here? What happens if we focus on the term ‘discipline’ is that we tend to go judge ourselves for NOT having any!
We punish ourselves for not hanging on to new habits.
We are strict towards ourselves, because we keep holding on to old habits.
We dislike or even hate ourselves for not having the discipline to pull through, while others seemingly do so very easily.
This is a counterproductive mindset!
We self-sabotage our own behaviours as a consequence.
And yes, I know, this is a reason why discipline is not a great word to use. But not necessarily WHY discipline doesn’t EXIST. Right?
Ok so then, the reason why – in my humble opinion – discipline DOESN’T exist:
What do great accomplishers all have in common? At first, you’d probably say: discipline. Right? Athletes, painters, writers, mathematicians, the geniuses and great master minds of our planet…
But… what if it isn’t in fact discipline they have?
What if instead, they have something else – this ‘something’ being intrinsic or internal motivation? A reason to do what they do, to win, or to create?
I believe intrinsic motivation to be the biggest factor leading towards success, combined with a great action plan divided in many small doable steps. AND under the condition that you have a stable, healthy sense of self.
Being judgemental towards yourself, as I’ve illustrated earlier, only works in a counterproductive way. Which will enlarge the chance of failing to build a new habit (or break an old one).
Self-compassion helps a bunch with being kinder and milder towards yourself and stop this sabotaging behaviour. Also, mindfulness can help a lot in becoming more aware of your own negative thinking and self-sabotaging behaviours.
Intrinsic motivation is all about your ‘why’: what’s the big reason you really really want to stop biting nails, eat those cookies, or watch 3 hours of Netflix a day? What’s the big reason that you want to exercise 3 hours a week – why do you want to lose weight?
Intrinsic motivation isn’t: ‘because I want to look like a supermodel’. Because helloooo….! That’s a more shallow reason, right? What’s underneath that? A need for self-confidence? Finding true love and settling down? Having more energy and being able to spend quality time with your kids, being able to play with them when you’re fit?
So yes, I do believe that discipline is a myth. That us humans made it up, simply to torment ourselves.
Now you know why 🙂
What do you think? Let me know in the comments!
With love, xo,
Jamila.
